Life is certainly testing the limits of my sobriety today. Maybe I told you my truck has two blown tires when I hit a curb trying to get to a new doctor to get anxiety meds. Well, I had tried to be helpful and jacked up the truck and got one of the tires off. Well, I woke this morning while feeding my crazy dog and getting my cold-brewed coffee when I noticed the truck sitting at that particular angle again.

My heart dropped for a moment. I got coffee and ate a couple sausage balls to get away from the problem and try to realize it wasn’t as soul-crushing as it first felt. Well, the system we use to chat no one could access. It was a nice reprieve for a few minutes until they turned my world on its head again.

They had changed security access so we had to open both the database and chat links must be open in remote desktop. I am working on a laptop with a monitor next to it so I can see everything. Folks with anxiety do not appreciate their cheese being moved. I am writing this now as my coping mechanism.

After freaking out a good bit, again. I was able to find I can stretch the remote desktop across the two screens if I do not maximize it making my world a little more palatable. I am still resentful that they just arbitrarily decided to change things so majorly without a single thought what it would mean to us peons, but such is life.

I thank you all for listening. I find my world makes a bit more sense when I can put it down in print. It does not loom quite as large there as it does in my head. I know normal people do not skip a beat of get stuck in the moment something goes widely out of control. I used to turn to substances, but now feeding my love of writing to get these overwhelming thoughts out of my head and they seem to shrink in the glare of daylight. For that I am very grateful. Love and hugs to you all.

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